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MEAN GIRLS: Is Your Daughter The Leader Of The Pack?

October 16, 2014 in Teens, Tweens

meangirls

It doesn’t matter what era you grow up in, whether you were wearing bell bottoms or jeggings, you can’t escape the wrath of mean girls. They are in every school, every single grade, some just meaner than others. Heck, maybe YOU were the mean girl like Regina George was in the hit classic “Mean Girls” starring Lindsay Lohan, but just too proud to admit it?

So how do you help your own daughter through the “mean girl situations” because I guarantee she’s witnessed one, been in one herself or been the “mean girl”. Yeah, YOUR girl, the mean girl? Never, right?

I hope and pray that my kids never turn out as the mean kids. I hope they use kind words and I hope they try to do something nice for someone every single day. That is the lesson I am trying to convey to my kids. Not everyone has a good home life. Not everyone has someone to talk to. You never know what someone else is going through, so be kind!

I, as a mother have already seen and heard about some of the mean girl stuff going on in my daughter’s grade and it’s tough. It’s frustrating. How do you, as a mother handle the mean girls? Do you give your child advice? Do you let your child figure it out on her own? Or do you encourage her to just be nice to everyone?

meangirls

Imagine this situation as a young girl.

You walk into a room of pre-teen to early teen girls your age waiting for practice to start. A group of girls sits in a tight circle, the circle closed in, allowing for no other girl to sit in. Then close to the wall, one girl sits alone by herself. You recognize a couple of girls from the large group and as you walk into the room, the group stares at you. You kind of know the girl sitting by herself. Nobody in the big group says, “Hi! Come join us.” So, what would you do as a young girl? Go join the circle of girls? Go sit with the girl that was seemingly by herself? Or sit by yourself? Imagine the thoughts that must run through a child’s mind when entering this situation. This happened to my daughter and I earlier this summer as I was dropping her off for sports practice. While I didn’t steer my daughter in any direction, I was curious as to what my daughter would do. I knew what I wanted to do, which certainly would not have been appropriate and would most definitely embarrass the heck out of my daughter. I wanted to walk over to the gaggle of girls, shake them all and say, “Open up your dang circle! You should all be friends!” I could see the the uncertainty in my daughter’s eyes as she immediately felt conflicted, torn.

So, I know you are dying to know, what my daughter chose to do, right?

She chose to sit with the girl that was sitting by herself. Was it the right decision? Well, it was for her and it made me smile inside.

Now this was just one incident out of how many situations that must happen on a daily basis and really, it doesn’t seem SO bad though, right? Now for us as parents, this situation sounds borderline ridiculous. But for a young girl, this is a HUGE deal. Everything is magnified times 10 when it comes to these situations, especially fitting in and trying to do the right thing.

I remember growing up, I wasn’t exactly “IN” a certain group. I tried so hard to be nice to everyone and I was not perfect by any means. But nowadays, it seems so much more complicated. I’m not even a teenager and I’m feeling like ripping my hair out!

With social media accounts like Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, kids are becoming braver, doing outrageous things for attention. Bullying other kids because of their looks. It can’t be easy growing up as a teen in this day in age because it sure as heck was not easy back when I was a teenager either.

We all want our children to be well liked. We want our children to get good grades. We want our child to fit in. But do YOU really know what your kid is up to in school? Do you know if your daughter is the girl leading a pack of mean girls?

Do you REALLY care?

If there is one thing that I do teach my daughter, it will be to NOT be like Regina George.

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Comments

  1. Masshole@gmail.com'Masshole Mommy says

    October 16, 2014 at 12:50 am

    And this is exactly why I’m happy tha I have all boys. No drama.

    Reply
    • jennifer@weloveplaytime.com'Jennifer Williams says

      October 21, 2014 at 1:11 am

      I am with you – so glad I have all boys. I do believe they are easier than girls.

      Reply
  2. editor@girlgonemom.com'Heather says

    October 16, 2014 at 1:55 am

    I teach my daughter to respect others and be kind. I hope that she does not become a mean girl!

    Reply
  3. barb@alifeinbalance.net'Barb @ A Life in Balance says

    October 16, 2014 at 10:24 am

    So far, my daughter doesn’t appear to be a mean girl, knock on wood. I’m keeping my fingers crossed she remains the type of girl less confident girls feel comfortable being around.

    Reply
  4. jennifer@weloveplaytime.com'Jennifer Williams says

    October 16, 2014 at 1:14 pm

    I dealt with groups like that when I was growing up and I never paid attention to them. I was so happy when my oldest son had a group of friends over and they were girls who were all so very different from each other and yet they all got along so well.

    Reply
  5. Rebeccabryant562@hotmail.com'becca says

    October 16, 2014 at 1:53 pm

    This is why I’m happy I have a son with a huge heart and enough brains not to follow the pack.

    Reply
  6. loisaltermark@gmail.com'Lois Alter Mark says

    October 16, 2014 at 2:09 pm

    This is such an important post. It’s up to parents to be role models and show their kids there are consequences for their actions. Bullying will only stop when adults get involved.

    Reply
  7. avehomelifeabroad@gmail.com'Ave says

    October 16, 2014 at 4:41 pm

    I have to say that I did not have any mean girls in my class, but I also went to a small and friendly school. My daughter is too little for the mean girls drama at the moment, but she will be studing in a huge city school in the future so I’m rather worried. I hope I can raise her to be friendly and considerate.

    Reply
  8. preheatyourcrayons@gmail.com'Nicole says

    October 16, 2014 at 5:05 pm

    I only have a boy (so far) thank goodness but hopefully I would be able to tell if my daughter was one of the mean girls.

    Reply
  9. msvip213@yahoo.com'Danielle Stewart says

    October 16, 2014 at 5:42 pm

    Those girls always made me sick in school. There is nothing like overcompensating for your own short comings by being horrible to other people.

    Reply
  10. pam@imperfectwomen.com'Pam says

    October 16, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    I don’t have any daughters so I never had those issues but I know a few girls like this. I worked in a high school for over 20 years and saw this played over and over again.

    I know that “mean” girls can really have a big negative impact on nice girls lives and that is pretty sad.

    I know that I cared that my sons were treating people with respect . Boys can be mean too.

    Reply
  11. mariac@toughcookiemommy.com'Tough Cookie Mommy says

    October 17, 2014 at 1:46 am

    I see a lot of this behavior from some of my female students. It’s so important to be aware of it and on the lookout for it.

    Reply
  12. swtiine@gmail.com'Annie says

    October 17, 2014 at 4:48 am

    I just stuck up for myself when there was a female bully. I didn’t care what she thought & kept on doing me. Mean girls will eventually have karma roll around, I think…

    Reply
  13. info@casavilorainteriors.com'Veronica says

    October 17, 2014 at 5:09 am

    It can be so hard on a young girl having to deal with mean girls. You really have to teach them self worth and confidence

    Reply
  14. erica@healthyfamilymatters.com'Erica Brooks says

    October 17, 2014 at 3:17 pm

    I would definitely care if my daughter was the “mean girl”. It would go against everything that we are teaching her. I think when kids act like that it is definitely a reflection of their home training or lack thereof.

    Reply
  15. celebbabylaundry@gmail.com'celebbabylaundry says

    October 17, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    It would be horrible to find out that your daughter is a mean girl, I teach my daughter to be nice and caring.

    Reply
  16. chrissy4gordon24@yahoo.com'Chrissy says

    October 17, 2014 at 4:43 pm

    My Daughter is 3 and I pray she doesn’t grow up and become a “mean girl” I wasn’t one, I was one that got along with everyone and I’m hoping she will be the same 🙂

    Reply
    • Mamasita A says

      October 20, 2014 at 6:20 pm

      I completely agree! This time is crucial to getting your daughter on the right track!

      Reply
  17. chrystal@yumeating.com'Chrystal @ YUM eating says

    October 17, 2014 at 5:25 pm

    I certainly hope kiddo doesn’t grow up to be a mean girl. She has heard all of her parents horror stories about getting picked on and she herself has been picked on. I hope she continues to be the kid with friends from all groups.

    Reply
    • preheatyourcrayons@gmail.com'Nicole says

      October 20, 2014 at 6:25 pm

      I recently read something about parents shaming the parents of mean girls because they think it’s their fault. I have found in reality that mean girls often come about because they’ve been picked on and are trying to make themselves seem tougher.

      Reply
  18. JellyRoseYate@gmail.com'Viccy Howe says

    October 17, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    A wonderful post that has got me thinking! I hope my 2yo Scarlett doesn’t turn out to be like Regina either. She’s already being taught to respect others and be polite, and lessons will always continue 🙂

    Reply
  19. amandalove1976@outlook.com'Amanda Love says

    October 18, 2014 at 2:39 am

    My daughter was pretty good in school and had awesome friends so I never had to worry about her being mean or her being mean to others. I do have that problem however with my son since he’s autistic and others are mean to him.

    Reply
  20. farrahafm@gmail.com'Farrah says

    October 18, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    My daughters are still pretty young (5 and almost 2). My 5 year old seems to get along with other kids pretty well. But this is a topic that will be important to us as all of our kids grow up. Bullying is far too common .

    Reply
  21. Sixtimemommy@gmail.com'Jeanine says

    October 20, 2014 at 6:25 pm

    I would hope neither of my girls would be! They’ve had enough issues at school I think they’d know better and know how wrong and awful bullying is!

    Reply
  22. rm29303@gmail.com'Rena McDaniel-The Diary of an Alzheimer's Caregiver says

    October 20, 2014 at 6:27 pm

    A couple of bloggers had a discussion about this the other day. We believe that “mean girls” turn into snooty PTO moms and they pass it on to their daughters then it is a never ending battle. My daughter was never allowed to act like that but I volunteered at the school often and yes the mean girls are often that of those mothers who think they know everything in their own little clique.

    Reply
  23. dragonfly1611@gmail.com'Sarah Bailey says

    October 20, 2014 at 6:30 pm

    I just was at school, I definitely wasn’t a mean girl though I can across some of them. Its so sad that we do have these issues in schools and even through adult life sometimes.

    Reply
  24. aimeefauci@gmail.com'aimee fauci says

    October 20, 2014 at 6:31 pm

    My daughter struggles with telling her friends to be nice. If they are mean to someone.. she will just and let it happen.

    Reply
  25. krystalsousa@gmail.com'Krystal's Kitsch says

    October 20, 2014 at 7:22 pm

    I do worry about the other kids when my son gets to school. He is just now in preschool.

    Reply
  26. cool.moms.cool.tips@gmail.com'coolchillmom says

    October 20, 2014 at 8:05 pm

    I am not quite there yet, but my princess is shy and quiet
    As they grow they change but we are doing all we can to stop bullying in any form

    Reply
  27. thelesleyshow@gmail.com'Lesley says

    October 20, 2014 at 11:12 pm

    I have a 13-year-old daughter and I always talk to her about being a kind and thoughtful person. I’m lucky that I homeschool her because I feel like she’s missed out on a lot of the influences that others might be pressured by.

    Reply
  28. Kristen@theroadtodomestication.com'Kristen from The Road to Domestication says

    October 21, 2014 at 1:02 am

    If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s discrimination like this among KIDS. I just wish they would stay innocent for longer than they do!

    Reply
  29. mariac@toughcookiemommy.com'Tough Cookie Mommy says

    October 21, 2014 at 1:36 am

    My experience has been that young girls learn this from the women around them. We need to be better role models for them.

    Reply
  30. twoofakind868@aol.com'Dee says

    October 21, 2014 at 12:03 pm

    My kids are all 7 and under, but I tell them OFTEN to never be the mean kid. I switch the tables and ask them how they would feel if xyz happened. I tell them that no matter what others are doing, we treat others with love because we don’t want to hurt anyone.

    Reply
  31. nmetolen@gmail.com'Nikki says

    October 21, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    I have a boy, yet I still see drama happening in his group of friends. Seems like a “Mean Boys” movie should be in the works sometimes!

    Reply
  32. aishakristinechong@gmail.com'Aisha Kristine Chong says

    October 21, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    I am totally glad I am out of those phase, lol. but I cannot imagine raising one like myself, lol.

    Reply
  33. perezfamily95@aol.com'Carmen Perez (listen2mama) says

    October 21, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    This is an excellent post that I myself have been meaning to tackle. As the mom of a 13 year old girl, we are definitely dealing with these “Mean Girl” issues. It’s so sad and it breaks my heart that this contiues to take pace in schools. My daughter thankfully is not a Mean Girl and is not being bulied either, however, she witnesses some pretty mean things at school. And the worst are the silent bullies, because the teachers are clueless that it’s going on. And many parents are clueless of what their children are doing in school, sad but true!

    Reply
  34. seraphimfriend@gmail.com'Mel Cole says

    October 21, 2014 at 5:24 pm

    I remember those days. I was not the mean girl though but a guy bullied me. That’s good that you as a parent detected it right away or at least you’re aware of what your D has been doing in school. It’s important to keep communications open with our kids.

    Reply
  35. soaringplaces@gmail.com'Rosey says

    October 21, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    My daughter has had a friend turn on her and become the mean girl. It was heart wrenching, and there’s really not a lot (there’s a little, but not a lot) you can do.

    Reply
  36. cmongetcrafty@gmail.com'Megan @ C'mon Get Crafty says

    October 21, 2014 at 10:26 pm

    UGh, one moment when I’m happy to have boys. My fear is whether or not my kids will end up being bullied or worse – BE the bullies. Not if I can help it!!

    Reply
  37. danielle@motivatingmommy.com'Danielle says

    October 22, 2014 at 1:27 am

    I would care if I saw this in my own daughter. But I believe children learn from those around them. So I better watch MYSELF and my actions towards others.

    Reply
  38. theluckywife@thesaturdayeveningpot.com'The Chef's Wife | Anne says

    October 22, 2014 at 2:28 am

    My daughter is only 4 and honestly I’m hoping Jesus comes back before she gets to this age! It is SUCH a hard age! There is no amount of money that would persuade me to go back to it. And I actually tired of all the girl drama so much that most of my closer friends after a certain point were guys! You should definitely be proud of your daughter though …. sounds like you are raising her WELL!!

    Reply
  39. marielle.altenor@gmail.com'Marielle Altenor says

    October 22, 2014 at 4:00 am

    I have a son so not sure if this applies lol I remember there were lots of “mean girls” in school but I just stayed away from them. The school was big enough to get lost and not be detected by the “mean girls” with too much times on their hands lol

    Reply
  40. mrs198128@yahoo.com'Melissa Smith says

    October 22, 2014 at 11:29 am

    Kids can be so cruel these days. My oldest daughter is 8 & she does have her little circle of friends, but they are the sweetest girls ever to everybody. Hopefully they all stay that way!

    Reply
  41. triplezmom@gmail.com'TripleZmom says

    October 22, 2014 at 12:10 pm

    We talk about this a lot as a family – the importance of including everyone and being kind to others. My daughter is friendly with everyone but the mean girls, whom she avoids like the plague.

    Reply
  42. bluevioletnut@gmail.com'Liz Mays says

    October 22, 2014 at 3:02 pm

    My daughter wasn’t a mean girl and I’m so happy about that. She was very popular but extremely self-confident and independent so she never felt pressure to act that way. She had the ability to float between circles and be accepted in all of them.

    Reply
  43. adventuresfrugalmom@gmail.com'Melissa Vera says

    October 24, 2014 at 2:44 am

    My middle daughter has been the subject of a lot of mean girl ridiculed. And let’s just say that I am proud of the young woman has become and not continue the cycle.

    Reply
  44. sweetcheeksandsavings@gmail.com'Ashley Gill says

    October 24, 2014 at 5:45 pm

    My daughter just started Kindergarten and I’m so afraid of her being bullied. I have talked to her on many occasions to make sure she isn’t being bullied and isn’t being a bully. I think everyone should read this post! Great message!

    Reply

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https://fueltheirdrive.com/cassclay/en-us/Leaderboard

Again, quick recap on how you can help your high school athletic department:  Simply buy Cass Clay milk, snap a photo of your receipt and upload it to www.fueltheirdrive.com/cassclay and then vote for your favorite high school!  Help push your school to the top.  Find Cass Clay milk at a local retailer near you, including Walmart.

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My famous “mom” line is, “make sure you are My famous “mom” line is, “make sure you are drinking water!” Or “are you drinking water?” Or “do you need some more water?” Any sort of variation can come out of my mouth at any given time.  Ask my kids and they will confirm.  If there is one thing that I know is that staying hydrated is so important. 

Clean drinking water is even better! I introduce to you ZeroWater.  Only ZeroWater leaves 000 dissolved solids, for the purest tasting water. ZeroWater is the only filter certified by the NSF to reduce both Lead and Chromium. It also has a premium 5-stage filter versus the standard conventional 2-stage filter used by other brands.

I am teaming up with @zerowater000 to give away a zero water pitcher.  This pitcher comes with a water quality meter and premium 5-stage ion exchange filter!

The Ready-Pour technology allows you to dispense filtered water as the reservoir continues to filter. No need to wait until the pitcher is full to start enjoying.

Here’s the deal and the rules. 
*must “like” this post
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*tag a friend to receive an extra entry (the more you tag, the more entries you get)

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#nationalcoffeeday should be every day and let me tell you, Starbucks cinnamon dolce is my fave.  I top mine off with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Perfection. 

Are you a coffee fan? If so, what is your favorite coffee brand? How do you like your coffee? How many cups do you drink per day? 

#coffee #coffeelover #coffeegram #coffeeaddict #coffeelife #coffeeholic #coffeedaily #coffeecoffeecoffee #coffeevibes #coffeebreak #coffeeislove #yumyum #cantleavewithoutit #cantleavehomewithoutit❤️
Crisp air. Pretty leaves. Sweaters and boots. Foot Crisp air. Pretty leaves. Sweaters and boots. Football. Coffee and pumpkins.  I love fall. 

#ourneighborhood #myneighborhood #fallseason #fallisintheair #fallismyfavorite #fallvibes #fallcolors #changeisgood #beautifulview #myviewrightnow #myviewisbetterthanyours #sunrise #gorgeousviews #autumn #autumnvibes
Sorry Kanye, but this is the greatest of all time. Sorry Kanye, but this is the greatest of all time. The Goat of all soups. And it’s easy to make too. 

🍁 Vegetable Soup 
Here’s what you need: 
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 1/2 cups chopped yellow onion (1 medium)
2 cups peeled and chopped carrots (about 5)
1 1/4 cups chopped celery (about 3)
4 cloves garlic , minced
4 (14.5 oz) cans low-sodium chicken broth* or vegetable broth
2 (14.5 oz) cans diced tomatoes (undrained)
3 cups peeled and 1/2-inch thick diced potatoes (from about 3 medium)
1/3 cup chopped fresh parsley
2 bay leaves
1/2 tsp dried thyme
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 1/2 cups chopped frozen or fresh green beans
1 1/4 cups frozen or fresh corn
1 cup frozen or fresh peas 

Instructions:

🍁 Heat olive oil in a large pot over medium-high heat. 
🍁 Add onions, carrots, and celery and saute 4 minutes then add garlic and saute 30 seconds longer.
🍁 Add in broth, tomatoes, potatoes, parsley, bay leaves, thyme and season with salt and pepper to taste*.
🍁 Bring to a boil, then add green beans. 
🍁 Reduce heat to medium-low, cover and simmer until potatoes are almost fully tender, about 20 - 30 minutes. 
🍁 Add corn and peas and cook 5 minutes longer. Serve warm.

For the full how to: check out Vegetable soup on the cookingclassy.com. 

#comfortfood #soupseason #soupdejour #souprecipes #nummanum #yummy #soupfordays #fallsoup #fallsoupseason #vegetablesoup #vegetablesoup #soupmaker #deliciousness #delicious #cookingclassy #comfortfoods #goatsoup🐐 #greatestofalltime #whatsfordinnertonight #whatsfordinnertomorrow #itswhatsfordinner
Tis’ the season to be fall-y. Be prepared for Tis’ the season to be fall-y. 

Be prepared for a slew of Autumn season posts.  Fall is my favorite. 

I love the colors. I love the decor. I love the fall fashion. I love the fall food.  I love it all! I had a few floral arrangements I had created by  different local small town florists.  Here are my faves.  Aren’t they gorgeous? And how cute is that little pumpkin? 

What’s your favorite season? 

#falldecor #fallfashion #fallcenterpiece #fallcenterpieces #fallstyle #falldecorations #fallready #fallharvest #fallisintheair #fallflowers #autumn #autumnvibes #autumndecor #autumnvibes🍁 #pumpkindecor
As I sit here at my current job (I am a radio adve As I sit here at my current job (I am a radio advertising sales rep), I am reminiscing about past jobs I have had in my life. Here are a few…can you guess which job I have not had?

1. On air personality (deejay)
2. Celebrity entertainment writer
3.  Grocery store checker
4. Zoo attendant 
5.  Housekeeper 

I’ll share the answer later in my story.  Don’t forget to share the first job you ever had! 

#jobs #jobsihad #jobsihadbefore #whatsayyou #shareyourstory #employment #whatidid
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