It doesn’t matter what era you grow up in, whether you were wearing bell bottoms or jeggings, you can’t escape the wrath of mean girls. They are in every school, every single grade, some just meaner than others. Heck, maybe YOU were the mean girl like Regina George was in the hit classic “Mean Girls” starring Lindsay Lohan, but just too proud to admit it?
So how do you help your own daughter through the “mean girl situations” because I guarantee she’s witnessed one, been in one herself or been the “mean girl”. Yeah, YOUR girl, the mean girl? Never, right?
I hope and pray that my kids never turn out as the mean kids. I hope they use kind words and I hope they try to do something nice for someone every single day. That is the lesson I am trying to convey to my kids. Not everyone has a good home life. Not everyone has someone to talk to. You never know what someone else is going through, so be kind!
I, as a mother have already seen and heard about some of the mean girl stuff going on in my daughter’s grade and it’s tough. It’s frustrating. How do you, as a mother handle the mean girls? Do you give your child advice? Do you let your child figure it out on her own? Or do you encourage her to just be nice to everyone?
Imagine this situation as a young girl.
You walk into a room of pre-teen to early teen girls your age waiting for practice to start. A group of girls sits in a tight circle, the circle closed in, allowing for no other girl to sit in. Then close to the wall, one girl sits alone by herself. You recognize a couple of girls from the large group and as you walk into the room, the group stares at you. You kind of know the girl sitting by herself. Nobody in the big group says, “Hi! Come join us.” So, what would you do as a young girl? Go join the circle of girls? Go sit with the girl that was seemingly by herself? Or sit by yourself? Imagine the thoughts that must run through a child’s mind when entering this situation. This happened to my daughter and I earlier this summer as I was dropping her off for sports practice. While I didn’t steer my daughter in any direction, I was curious as to what my daughter would do. I knew what I wanted to do, which certainly would not have been appropriate and would most definitely embarrass the heck out of my daughter. I wanted to walk over to the gaggle of girls, shake them all and say, “Open up your dang circle! You should all be friends!” I could see the the uncertainty in my daughter’s eyes as she immediately felt conflicted, torn.
So, I know you are dying to know, what my daughter chose to do, right?
She chose to sit with the girl that was sitting by herself. Was it the right decision? Well, it was for her and it made me smile inside.
Now this was just one incident out of how many situations that must happen on a daily basis and really, it doesn’t seem SO bad though, right? Now for us as parents, this situation sounds borderline ridiculous. But for a young girl, this is a HUGE deal. Everything is magnified times 10 when it comes to these situations, especially fitting in and trying to do the right thing.
I remember growing up, I wasn’t exactly “IN” a certain group. I tried so hard to be nice to everyone and I was not perfect by any means. But nowadays, it seems so much more complicated. I’m not even a teenager and I’m feeling like ripping my hair out!
With social media accounts like Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, kids are becoming braver, doing outrageous things for attention. Bullying other kids because of their looks. It can’t be easy growing up as a teen in this day in age because it sure as heck was not easy back when I was a teenager either.
We all want our children to be well liked. We want our children to get good grades. We want our child to fit in. But do YOU really know what your kid is up to in school? Do you know if your daughter is the girl leading a pack of mean girls?
Do you REALLY care?
If there is one thing that I do teach my daughter, it will be to NOT be like Regina George.