Who’s REALLY The Boss In Your House?

This has been a highly discussed topic in our household over the past few years..actually for many years, but we have come to the unspoken conclusion that in our household mama is the boss. Yep, this girl. Me! I am the boss. I make the final decision in this household when it comes to the kids (for the most part) and I get to be the disciplinarian. Notice how I said, “get to be”?

That’s right, just call me Tony Danza.

boss (noun)

1. a person who employs or superintends workers; manager.
2. a politician who controls the party organization, as in a particular district.
3. a person who makes decisions, exercises authority, dominates, etc.: My grandfather was the boss in his family.


First of all, I brought these babies into the world and I’ll knock ’em down if they steal my Ipad mini and leave it to die of charge in the middle of the living room when I want to play Candy Crush on it, okay? It’s just NOT right!


Second of all, my husband is gone quite a bit for his job and so I thought it would be nice for me to be the “bad guy” so that when he gets home, I can be the bear cat and he can be the big cuddly bear. It makes sense. I don’t want my kids to be like, “Oh dad is coming home?” in anguish. I’d rather have them pleading, “When is mom leaving?” Ok ok, I kid there, but it sounded hardcore, right?


Being the boss doesn’t always come with perks. It’s almost as if the kids respect the person who isn’t the boss more than the actual boss because the boss is the one telling them the things they can and cannot do. “Quit peeing on the floors!” “I’m cleaning in circles here, can somebody please help me out?
And I can handle that. That’s why as a boss you need to determine your level of “bossiness”.

Are you going to be the Nazi boss who whips those kids into shape with chores and homework all while they sing military cadences? Or are you going to be the boss who only turns on the boss factor when necessary (ie Child 2 pulls Child 3’s hair) or are you the boss who uses a gradually louder tone after each selective hearing episode? (Lola, will you please pick up your toys honey?…Lola, hey…can you please pick up your toys? We’ve got a little mess here…Hey LOLA, did you hear me?? TOYS. LOLA. HELLO???!) I am the latter so when it’s time to be a boss, the kids tend to mostly listen. Notice I said “mostly listen”. When the voice tone reaches at about a level “Mom’s-not-quite-angry-but-she’s-about-to-get-scary”, then most of the time action takes place on their part.

There are times though when being the boss doesn’t work, no matter the level or tone of voice. Let’s just say I will claim the boss crown until I’m at wit’s end and I’m getting sick and tired of listening to arguing and fighting over a damn Xbox controller or when I just get done cleaning the floor and in comes the kids running in with muddy feet along with the dog who proceeds to shake its dander all over. “Honey, come and get YOUR kids!” “AND, your dog!” Sometimes you just want to take the boss hat off and pass it onto your partner! Let them experience how hard it really is to be the boss…anything to have them appreciate you a little more.


For example, I wanted to take the boss crown off the other day but was able to maintain my sanity (and I had to because I was unable to pass the crown to anyone else in my household). See, for the next couple of weeks, my husband is gone because of his job and tonight, my four year old Lola is enjoying a bubble bath in Mommy’s bath tub with jets when randomly she says to me, “Dad’s the boss!!!”

Wait, what?! I really wanted to say to her, “I didn’t even ask you to do anything for me. I didn’t ask you to pick up your dirty clothes or help pick up your toys. I said absolutely NOTHING about me being the boss! You’re taking a luxurious bath in MY bath tub little missy!” But instead, I bit my tongue and helped her out with her Santa Claus beard made with Dove soap bubbles.

So, is dad the boss because he isn’t home right now to tell you ask you to do things? Or is this just a jab to make me rethink this whole “boss status”?

While being a boss isn’t easy, sometimes you just need to walk away from the situation and write a blog post about your feelings.

Do you have a “boss” in your house or do you refer to a “boss” as something else? Is it necessary to have one parent that is considered the boss? Or do you take turns in certain situations as the boss?

Mamasita Amber
Mama of three children and proud new mama of a standard poodle named Prince Miguel.

15 Responses to “Who’s REALLY The Boss In Your House?

  • I use the “dad’s the boss” thing to get out of making a decision I don’t want to. Which means that ultimately I’m the boss. hehe.

  • I think I am the boss, but usually let somebody else think they are 😉

  • I’m the boss. 😛

  • I didn’t even think about who’s the boss but my son (6) will tell me “Daddy’s in charge!”. Like you, Daddy is always working in our house so exactly how does that work???? Good luck keeping your title. I’m not sure how mine works.

  • massmommie@gmail.com'
    Robin (Masshole Mommy)
    7 years ago

    I am the boss. Plain and simple. If mama ain’t happy – nobody is happy.

  • nursemommysupewoman@gmail.com'
    Nicole Howell
    7 years ago

    The hubs and I are the boss of different things. I am the boss when it comes to cleaning up and hygiene and he is the boss when it comes to manners and behavior. I am way too lenient on my boys so dad steps in to remind them what is appropriate. Hubs doesn’t care if the house is messy but I do so I have to tell everyone when and what to clean.

  • Sometimes I think that the kids are the boss, but then I put them in their place. 🙂 My husband and I take turns being the boss vs the good guy. Keeps things balanced.

  • I am the boss in mine since I am the only adult. My son is the boss of the teddy bears. I told him that to make him feel better because he didn’t feel that it was fair that i got to boss him around and he didn’t get to boss anyone around. He of course told me that the teddy bears were not very good listeners.

  • Hilarious. And yes, I am the boss. I think my husband would say the same thing… if he knows what’s good for him.

  • I tell people i am the boss, but we really know who the boss is in this house.. lol

  • mostly I’m the boos since they spend most of the time me,but hand it off for a couple hours when the hubby comes home.

  • teresamccluskey@rocketmail.com'
    teresa mccluskey
    7 years ago

    I am the boss! Simple as that. Momma makes the rules, her way or no way! 😉

  • No, I have two parents… enjoy raising your little ones!

  • My husband and I are the bosses of different things. Overall though, I definitely have the final say in most matters. Perhaps that makes me the CEO 🙂

  • katrina.gehman@gmail.com'
    katrina g
    7 years ago

    I’m the boss but my husband likes to pretend he is sometimes lol

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