New parents deserve an award for surviving nine months of nausea, weight gain, swollen feet, back aches, doctor’s appointments and bewildering medical bills. And surprise! Your award is a tiny bundle of joy who is now the center of your whole universe. But this bundle of joy is also the source of new annoyances that turn you and your co-parent against each other. Here’s how to minimize the annoyances and survive your new life as parents.
1. Constant Hunger
Now that you’re awake 24/7 feeding an infant, you are always hungry. In fact, breastfeeding moms burn an extra 500 calories per day. Unfortunately, when you leave the hospital, no one is bringing a tray of food to your room anymore and no one is fixing the food or cleaning up afterward either. Let’s face it: you both barely have time to put on clothes.
Nix the hangry behavior and try a meal subscription service like Blue Apron to get proportioned ingredients and step-by-step instructions delivered to your door so anyone (hint to dad!) can make a great home-cooked meal. Or make meal-prep easier by trying Walmart Grocery Pickup. You can order your groceries online and pick them up outside the store without having to hassle with the car seat, stroller, weather or a store full of germs.
2. Missed Communication
With juggling jobs and new parenting responsibilities, there are so many ways to communicate but so little time to respond. But when your baby has had his third consecutive blowout of the day, a certain parent better confirm he received the urgent text about getting more diapers and laundry detergent on the way home from work or the other parent will. Have. A. Meltdown. Avoid meltdowns on all fronts with an iPhone that tells users whether or not someone has read your message. If you don’t already have one, T-Mobile is having a great sale right now where they’ll give you a refund for a second iPhone.
3. Never-ending Chores
Apparently the tinier the creature, the more chores they produce. Diaper runs. Laundry load after laundry load — almost an hour per day on average. Dish washing and bottle washing. Plus all the regular stuff like lawn mowing and paying bills. Save yourselves some time and the argument about who has to leave the house to get that one super important thing and sign up for Amazon Prime to save 20 percent on diapers delivered to your door with the Subscribe & Save service. You can also get free two-day shipping on all other new necessities with Amazon Prime, like breast milk storage bags, bottle nipples or a snot sucking nasal aspirator (Yes, that is gross. Welcome to parenthood). To reduce time spent on chores, try using paper plates for the first week of life with a newborn.
4. All the Screaming
Crying is just far too mild a word for the noise your baby produces, especially when you’re trying to sleep or shower … well, pretty much all the time. Make yourselves a little more sane by turning your old iPhone into a video baby monitor so you can leave the room for a well-deserved nap and still make sure your baby is safe from a distance. Also, try a swing or vibrating chair placed in front of a mirror to soothe baby while you use your arms for other things — like a TV remote or a glass of wine.
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