Parenting Your Tween


Whoa, boy. These are the fun times you guys!

Parents of tween children can often become surprised at their sudden change in personality. (Yep, I’m one of them.) A child that may have at one time been quiet and reserved may suddenly become more vocal and demanding. This is just the beginning of the enormous tidal wave that we as parents must ride out. And somehow I have seemed to forget that I was there once too. I just don’t ever remember it being THAT bad, but at the time it was.

When a child is in between the age of 7-9, they are normally comfortable sitting on your lap and being all lovey-dovey. Once they hit the 10-12 years of age, it is just the start of tidal wave that fully immerses once they have hit their teen years.

Children between the ages of 10-12 suddenly become aware of the opposite sex, and I do mean aware. Girl children will often adorn makeup and start worrying more about their appearance. You may also suddenly find that they often want to go with a group of friends to the mall. This is of course, to window shop, and I do not mean for clothes. They are checking out the local boys for future boyfriend potential.

As for the boys, they too are fully aware of members of the opposite sex during these years. No longer are they interested in toys as their minds are on that cute girl in class or one that lives near your home.

Remember that during these years, your child is trying to find themselves. It is okay to let go of the reins a little as they struggle to find their independence. Of course, this does not mean to set guidelines. Explain to them that these guidelines are for their benefit and safety. Commend them on a job well done as this is great for their self-esteem. However, do not be afraid to be stern with them if they should suddenly step out of line.

You are their parent first, not their BFF! And well, they probably don’t want you as their BFF at this point anyways.

Am I right?

Mamasita Amber
Mama of three children and proud new mama of a standard poodle named Prince Miguel.

25 Responses to “Parenting Your Tween

  • Interesting tips for parenting a tween. My daughter is turning 13 in ten days, so she’s almost officially a TEEN! She’s a good kid, I don’t worry about her as much as I do her little Great article, thank you for sharing.

  • Oh boy. I am not looking forward to these awkward stages. I try to remember this when my littles are getting on my nerves.

      amanda @attachedmoms
      7 years ago

      I can only imagine… 6 is as close to tween as I can imagine.

  • My kids are both out of the house now and I wouldn’t want to go back to those tween years! Just keep repeating to yourself, “I will get through this” — because you will!

  • I agree with you. It is important to establish boundaries and to let tweens know that you are their parent first.

    Jennifer Williams
    7 years ago

    My oldest is 17 and I do not recall the tween years being too bad but he tries to make up for it now. Boundaries have always been there for my boys from the minute they started moving on their own.

  • Oh my goodness…I am totally NOT looking forward to this LOL

  • I have two teenagers and an 8 month old. But, my s/o has an 11 year old boy- I keep trying to tell him that 11 year old boys are just as dramatic as 11 year old girls. He doesn’t believe me.

  • I remember those days not so fondly…just kidding it only gets worse from here on out. At least until they hit about 23 then you to me a parent on another level. Setting boundaries at this age is so important and will often determine if you have a teenager or a juvenile delinquent. I’m not saying don’t let them express themselves that is very important but knowing that you are their parent and not their friends.

    Melissa Smith
    7 years ago

    My oldest daughter will be 9 in January & I’m dreading it. I know it’s not considered part of the tween years, but it’s the last step to them & that’s enough for me.

  • I am bookmarking this. Really not looking forward to it. As it will definitively xome

  • tweens were not too bad it wasnt until my step kids turned 17 that they figured they can do what they wish when they want. growing up sucks some times

  • Thank goodness so far the early teen years have been ok other then a few mood swings we are holding steady.

  • My son is 9 and it’s already starting! I am freaking out over here!

  • My son is now 12 and he is still in the stage where he like hanging out with me. I know it will be a matter of a few years before that changes

  • My 10 year old is still, thankfully, in the lovey dovey stage and not noticing boys yet. I do think it will be coming soon though, gah!

  • I don’t even have a baby yet, though I have to admit, I’m more scared of raising tweens/teens. Attitude is my main concern once I get there 😛

  • I’m with Annie here…I don’t have children, but I am thinking that teens/tweens would be harder to raise than babies. I know for me…those years were the worst…I was a real brat! 🙂

  • The tween years were quite interesting. Now we are on the the full on teen girl years! Weee! Haha

  • I remember being in the fifth grade and girls starting to wear makeup to school! I never really did and felt so awkward about the whole thing.

  • My daughter is 17, and I remember when she was a tween! She started getting her hair done and wearing makeup! It was so odd to see at first!

    Ann Bacciaglia
    7 years ago

    I remember when my kids were in their tween years. They get much better with time!

  • You are so right! We have a 16, 15,10.5, & 8 yr old. We are in a tornado of emotions but as their parents we are guiding them through the storm. I think its important that we never take their outbursts personally but don’t back down from requiring proper respect either.

  • I swear the teen/tween years are not easy. I thought toddler years was hard, but the tween/teen years has been really difficult!

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