6 Things They Never Tell You About Giving Birth and The After Birth

With all of the information readily available to us before we even decide to get pregnant, it should come as no surprise what the moment of childbirth is really like, right? Surely it is just a lot of heavy breathing and out pops a kid, right?

HAHHAHAHHAHAHA, FUNNY!

Wrong. My sister recently gave birth (her first, mind you) to a cute little baby boy and I really didn’t want to tell her how bad the after part of the birthing process really is. Quite frankly because she was already freaked out about how she was going to get that big boy out of that small hole.

If she wanted to really know how things were I figured she’d be Googling anyhow because that’s what we all tend to do when we are curious.

There are a few things that women tend NOT to share to anyone about the birthing process and the fun after process.

You know, the popping out of the placenta (and actually SEEING the placenta), the netted panties, huge diapers that we get to wear and the dreaded first bowel movement…yeah, and I’m not talking about changing our baby’s first diaper.

Here are SIX Things that we aren’t really told about that I think you may or may not appreciate. If you’d rather not know then don’t continue reading this. And if you are a teenager reading this, this is a good method of birth control for you, so read on sista!

1. Pushing Can Last A LONG time…as in HOURS.

I have heard several women tell me that it only took them a couple of pushes and their sweet little cherub was in their arms. Well, if you are one of those women, I would like to say one thing in a very sarcastic manner, “Good for you”. According to experts, you most certainly can be one of the many women who end up pushing for one, two, three or MORE hours. That is not included labor. We are talking hardcore pushing, people.

2. You won’t get to eat for awhile.

Even though you’ll be hanging around the hospital for hours on end waiting for that baby to finally make its entrance, while your husband or significant is munching on Mickey D’s, pizza or Handisnacks, you’ll be salivating…or munching on ice chips. Most birth centers or hospitals will not allow the mothers to eat while in labor because of the possibility of a cesarean section.

3. Epidurals and Pain Medicine Won’t Dissipate ALL Pain

While some women say you better make dang sure wait as long as you possibly can before you get yourself pain relief a la an epidural or pain medication because it can wear off before you REALLY need it, there are some that say to get that pain medicine and get it fast. The truth of the matter is, we all react differently to these drugs and every single pregnancy is different.

4. Those Women With Makeup On And Perfect Hair After They Give Birth Are Posers

After you give birth, do not feel as if you need to get dolled up for photos. You just worked your butt off bringing a child into this world after it lived inside of you for nine months for gawd’s sake. If it makes you feel better, so be it. But just know that ALL women are wearing those nasty net panties with a huge freakin diaper!

5. Childbirth is HARD, but the days after are HARDER!

After hours of getting this baby out, you now are a mother. Your body is recovering. You’ve got a squishy belly. You’ve got a sore bottom, net panties, a diaper, Tucks pads and Dermoplast in tow! And even though you went nine months without a period, you will endure all nine of those months in one sitting.

6. Breastfeeding is a full time job.

Sure you were told it could hurt, that it would take a few days for your milk supply to come in and not all babies catch onto the breastfeeding process right away. What you weren’t told was that if you choose to breastfeed, guess what? When you just finish up breastfeeding and/or pumping and have some time to breathe, it won’t be long before you are at it again!